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Funnies
Always take your sense of humour with you wherever you go,
there is always the funny side to
things that happen to us. Hope you get a laugh out
of these and new ones will be posted fortnightly.
Choices
It was mealtime during a trip on a cut
price airline.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight
attendant asked the man seated in front of me.
"What are my choices?" he asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.
Creative Fishing
A man was stopped by a game-warden
in Victoria recently. He was carrying two buckets of fish as he was leaving a
lake well known for its fishing.
The game warden asked the man: "Do
you have a license to catch those fish?"
The man replied to the game warden:
"No, sir. These are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?" the warden replied
"Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them
swim around. After awhile, I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and
I take them back home again."
"That's load of rubbish! Fish
can't do that!" was the outburst from the Warden.
The man looked at the game warden
for a moment, and then said: "Here, I'll show you. It really works."
"O.K. I've GOT to see this!" The
game warden was curious, now.
The man poured the fish in to the
lake and stood and waited.
After several minutes, the game
warden turned to the man and said, "Well?"
"Well, what?" the man responded.
"When are you going to call them
back?" The game warden prompted.
"Call who back?" The man asked.
"The FISH."
"What fish?" The man asked.
Opposites attract!
"You and your husband don't seem to
have an awful lot in common," said the new tenant's neighbor. "Why on earth did
you get married?"
"I suppose it was the old business
of 'opposites attract'," was the reply.
"He wasn't pregnant and I was."
What’s important to you?
A policeman noticed an old lady
standing on a street corner during a sudden windstorm.
She was bracing herself by holding
a light post with one hand, and she was holding her hat snuggly against her head
with her other hand. Unfortunately, a strong gust blew her dress upward, and it
continued to flap in the wind, exposing everything for everyone to see.
The policeman asked, "Hey Lady,
everybody is taking a look at what you've got. Don't you think that pulling
your dress down is more important than worrying about your hat?"
"Look here, Sonny - what these
people are looking at is 85 years old, but this hat is BRAND NEW!"
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